


Right Angle

by Thascalos



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Community: sizeofthatthing, Condoms, Cos Jackie is Responsible, Crack, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Handy Spare Hand, Mild Kink, Oral, Vaginal, Wall Sex, Working At Torchwood Sucks In Any Universe, that one, what's that one where you get a bit turned on by the possibility of being discovered at any moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:33:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thascalos/pseuds/Thascalos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let me tell you, internets, it is hard being a half-alien dude who remembers being a woman who doesn't quite realise he has a thing for his ex-girlfriend's mum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Angle

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the kinkmeme, for the prompt, ["Handy/Jackie Tyler: Don't care what kink, just want to see them shagging!"](http://community.livejournal.com/sizeofthatthing/3359.html?thread=2411807#t2411807)

He wasn't really sure how he'd come to be backed up against the wall of Jackie's bedroom, tie undone and moaning into Jackie's soft, sweet mouth.

He'd been bored, working on the same trajectory equations for three days straight -- finishing them again and again only to have them sent back with little management notes, asking "What if we were looking at a November afternoon instead of one in July, get the holiday season started off with a bang?" or "We were thinking a morning launch might be more dramatic," or "Actually, there'll be an election going on, why don't we move the whole thing back to the spring so we can get some extra funding out of it?" After the twenty-seventh note he decided that Torchwood was perhaps taking its resident genius a little for granted, and decided to treat himself to a long lunch-break. 

So he'd called up Jackie, to see if she was busy. Well, he certainly couldn't call up Rose and tell her he was doing a bunk, she was technically his boss. And the whole ex-girlfriend thing did make things like that a bit weird, or so he'd gathered from that time he'd invited himself along for movie night a couple of weeks back. Rose had ended up quite cross about that, but once he'd realised it was supposed to have been a _date_ he very generously gave up his middle seat and switched with Devendhra. All right, that was nearly half-way through the movie, but he tried to make up for it by letting the man hold the popcorn bucket. Surely anyone could recognise a sacrifice like that as the gesture of apology it was meant to be? Leaving him stranded at the theatre with no ride home and only two quid in his pocket didn't seem like a very proportionate response, really. 

Meanwhile, today, Jake was off on a mission, the lucky bastard. And Pete... well, actually he didn't think Pete liked him much. Plus, once again, boss. Tony was really a bit too young to be coordinating secret plans with, although, in a few years.... Anyway, he'd called up Jackie because Jackie was nice, and she was funny, and she thought Torchwood was rubbish too, so she didn't mind when he stopped by to moan about them and eat all her sweets, and she didn't mind when he called in sick and came over and played Candyland with Tony all afternoon. She didn't even mind when he called her at half-eleven at night and asked her if she could pick him up from the cinema. 

He could have sworn that had been all he'd planned when he arrived at Jackie's flat. Just a bit of moaning and sweet-stealing and maybe they'd play rummy and drink cheap wine and gossip about Pete's latest twenty-something secretary. He thought back. Yes. And it had all started off so normally, with the complaining, and the affectionate eye-rolling, and the Maltesers, and her hand on his thigh, and his gaze travelling down to her breasts, and his tongue wetting his lips, and her teeth nipping at his earlobe -- aha! 

"What?" asked Jackie, unbuttoning his trousers. Oh, he must have said that aloud.

"I figured out how we went from our regular amount of sexual tension to partially-dressed snogging against your wall, presumably to be followed by energetic sex," he said, slipping a hand under her shirt to knead at her breasts.

"Yeah, I finally got tired of waiting for you to notice my obvious advances and just grabbed your cock."

Oh. He'd thought she'd just lost her balance. She'd been sort of leaning on his thigh at that point, her lips close to his neck... oh. Right.

"Um, yes... that," he said, trying to play it cool. Damn. He was sure he had once been less sexually obtuse. He had distinct memories of being quite sexually acute. Well, a right angle at least. Yes, sitting at the bar with mates, noticing someone watching him from across the room, tossing his hair a little and turning to give them a glance, taking a nice big breath to emphasise his breasts... oh wait. Damn!

"I'm not even a sexual right angle, am I?" he asked, dolefully. 

"Do you want me to pretend I know what that means, or get back to shagging you against my wall?"

"...The second option is probably best."

Jackie pulled his jumper up over his head and tossed it over to the other side of the room. He pushed her shirt up, then reached around and unhooked her bra. She slipped a hand into his trousers.

"You're lucky you've got such a gorgeous cock," she said, stroking him. She hissed as his mouth closed around one of her nipples. "Oh, you're tongue isn't half-bad either..." He licked deftly around her areola, then bit down, softly; the hand on his cock suddenly squeezed, involuntarily, and he smiled. All right, maybe he was a bit obtuse when it came to the signaling, but the _mechanics_ he was still quite good at. He slipped a hand into her trousers, between her legs, and rubbed at the damp fabric of her knickers.

"I'll put my tongue to good use down here in a few moments," he promised, pushing the fabric aside and sliding a finger across her wet cunt. 

Just then there was the unexpected sound of the front door being opened. They both froze and looked at Jackie's bedroom door, which was closed, but not locked.

"Hello, mum!" Rose's voice called from the front room. "It's just me!"

He carefully removed his hand from Jackie's trousers, and started pulling his other hand from her breast when Jackie looked at him and pressed a finger against his lips. 

"Shhh," she breathed. He stilled. "Hello, sweetheart!" Jackie called back. "I was just taking a nap, so don't come in here yet -- I'm not quite decent!" As she talked, Jackie quietly pushed his trousers and pants down his legs. His eyebrows rose in surprise, but he kept silent as requested.

"Oh really?" said Rose's voice, right outside the door. He held his breath. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, don't worry," said Jackie. She started stroking his cock again, slowly, a teasingly light touch alternating with the occasional firm squeeze. "I was just a little tired. Had a bit of a headache." For some reason her disinterested chatter, their proximity to detection, and his inability to extricate himself from the situation all conspired to make him incredibly hard. He tried to keep his hips still, but he felt it when precome started leaking from the head of his cock. Jackie swiped her thumb across it, rubbing his wetness across his sensitised skin. He gritted his teeth and tried to regulate his breathing, which was getting rather quick, and noticably more audible. 

"You want me to make you some tea?" Rose asked. Jackie took her hand away from him and he almost sighed in relief before he caught himself. 

"No, that's all right. Thank you, love." Jackie looked straight into his eyes as she licked at her palm, and he was afraid he was staring at her, open-mouthed, when she brought her hand back down and grasped him firmly with her now deliciously slick hand. He bucked against her helplessly, his head dropping back against the wall with a sharp _thunk_. He froze again, looking at the door in silent alarm, but Jackie kept stroking him, wet fingers sliding along his hard length. 

"Okay," said Rose. "I'll go make some for myself, though, is that all right?" 

"Of course," said Jackie, continuing to pump him. He heard Rose's footsteps away from the door, and then the sounds of dishes being moved around in the kitchen. He sagged against the wall, trembling. Jackie leaned close and captured his mouth with her own for a few moments, then pulled back with a mischievous look on her face. She winked and then sank down to her knees.

"What -- what are you --" he whispered harshly, before he was cut off by Jackie swallowing him into her hot mouth. "Gah!" he choked. Jackie let his cock pop out of her mouth.

"I thought I told you to be quiet," she whispered, and then wrapped her lips around him again. 

He leant back against the wall, panting as quietly as possible as Jackie licked up and down his shaft. She took him deep, pulled her mouth back until he almost slipped out, then let him sink back into her throat, again and again. It was gorgeous, and it was hypnotising, which was really unfair as it left him completely unprepared when Rose's voice came from the other side of the door again.

"Mum, where are the bisquits?" she asked through the wood. He let out a little undignified squeak in his surprise, but managed to bite his lip before he made any more noise. Jackie slid him slowly out of her mouth, letting her teeth scrape very gently against the head of his cock, and smiled at him when he hissed.

"Right hand cabinet above the stove, second shelf," Jackie said, her face just inches away from his crotch. "I've got a few of those chocolate ones that you like so much, and some shortbread biscuits too." She gave his penis a little kiss and then stood up. She licked at his throat for a moment, tongue gliding over the thin sheen of sweat that slicked his skin, then moved up to his mouth. He could taste himself on her tongue and he shuddered against her. 

"Oh my god!" Rose exclaimed, and he flinched, staring first at the door, then Jackie, with wide eyes. Jackie bit his lip and smoothed damp hair from his forehead. "Are those the same shortbread biscuits that Jake's mum sent you last _Christmas_?" Rose continued.

"Oh, they must be," said Jackie, pressing herself against him, the rough denim of her jeans rubbing against his cock as she began to rock against him. 

"That was like ten months ago!"

"Well, you know I don't really like the shortbread ones." Jackie rocked against him harder and he gasped, lightly. She reached up and pressed a hand across his mouth, sealing it. His hips jumped beneath hers.

"You should just give them away or something, or you'll have them up there for a couple decades," Rose offered helpfully. Jackie took one of his hands and slipped it into her jeans, behind her knickers. The hand over his mouth muffled his groan as he slid his fingers down and felt how wet she was. "Remember that fruitcake that Aunt Helen sent us one year -- we had it for the last three years I was in primary school!"

"Oh," said Jackie, as he slipped a finger into her. "Oh, yes, you're right, dear. Maybe I'll bring them into work on Monday." 

"Sure you don't want any tea, mum?" said Rose. He added another finger to the one that was already inside Jackie. Her mouth opened soundlessly for a moment.

"Ah, no," she finally managed. "Maybe later, Rose!"

He heard Rose's footsteps retreat back to the kitchen and then suddenly Jackie was pulling him toward her, turning them both round until it was her back against the wall, and she took her hand away from his mouth and he drew in a great gulp of air before he knelt down in front of her, pulling her trousers and her knickers down with him and tasting her with the tip of his tongue. Oh god, oh god, she was so wet and he spared his hard cock just one stroke before opening her folds with his hands and pushing his tongue inside of her. Jackie twisted his hair in one of her hands, and he looked up at her, her eyes closed and her mouth open, her chest heaving with silent pants, and he thought it was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen. Later he would admit to himself that it had probably been his heightened sexual arousal making him think that, but he'd still put in the top twenty. 

She pulled on his hair and dragged him upright again. He stared at her, dazed, and she leaned close until her lips were brushing his ear.

"I hope you're ready to fuck me," she breathed, so quietly. He could hear Rose doing the washing up in the kitchen. "Because I can't wait another minute to have you inside me." His eyes widened and he nodded, silently. 

Jackie stepped away for a moment, opened up the top drawer of her night table and grabbed a condom. Then she was back, opening the wrapper and rolling the condom down his length. She stroked him a few times before he pressed her to the wall, rubbing his cock along her wet entrance. She hitched a leg up and he slid the first few inches of his cock into her slick heat. He grabbed her arse with his hands and picked her up, sliding the rest of the way into her with a groan, quickly cut off when Jackie covered his mouth with her hand again. She wrapped her legs around him and he rested his head on her shoulder. She kissed his brow, which was damp and salty with human sweat. He knew it was, because he'd tasted his own sweat, just to see, just to be sure. Yes, yes, he was human now, and his sweat was salty like Donna's had been, and he liked pears now, like Donna did, and he was so human, he needed to sleep all the time, and eat all the time, and fuck all the time, sometimes all of that need was so overwhelming but right now it was perfect, just perfect as her thrust into Jackie over and over again. It was good that she still had her hand clamped over his mouth because he couldn't have kept himself silent, and even now muffled moans were escaping from behind her fingers although actually he was starting to have a hard time getting enough oxygen, but that didn't matter, all that mattered was being inside Jackie and her wonderful lips kissing his cheek and his eyebrow and his temple and his eyelids. 

He felt Jackie trailing a hand down his rolling stomach muscles, through the hair that trailed down towards his groin, and then she started touching herself. He pumped into her harder, and then suddenly she was coming, her muscles convulsing around him, bringing him to the brink, and he tried to shift his feet a little, trying to get just a little bit deeper, and he slipped. He didn't want to let go of Jackie and drop her, so he kept hold of her as he stumbled, lost his balance, and fell to the floor, landing on his back with a loud, floor-shaking _thump_. Jackie let out a short yelp as the hard landing pushed his cock, still inside her, up sharply. Her hand was still covering his mouth, so the only noise he made was a strange choking sound as he finally lost it, arching his back and coming hard. 

Finally Jackie took her hand away and he took a great, gasping breath, laying bonelessly on the floor beneath her. Her heard quick footsteps approaching but even if Jackie hadn't been sprawled over him, he doubted he could have moved.

"Mum, are you okay? It sounded like --" and then Rose's concerned voice abruptly cut off when she opened the door to find her mother and her ex-boyfriend nearly naked on her mother's bedroom floor. The panting and the overall atmosphere of sweat and sex was probably just adding to the generally traumatic nature of the scene. He looked up at her apologetically. 

"Er," he said. 

"...Right," said Rose, and closed the door. 

He and Jackie looked at each other for a few moments, and then Jackie started to laugh. 

"I don't suppose this could be much more awkward," he said, giggling despite himself.

"Well, I could be Pete," said Jackie. 

"OH. MY. GOD --!" yelled Rose, from the corridor. 

 

 

the end!


End file.
